Technically, this isn’t a review. Technically speaking, this is “a brag” That is, it is the act of storytelling by a parent who thinks her kid is the best in the world and should get credit for all the super cute stuff she does. So, getting into the holiday spirit, I submit my six-year-old daughter’s list to Santa. To avoid any undue confusion, I also transcribe it and give a parent’s interpretation. Happy Holidays!
 |
| Look at the hearts on the list and on the envelope (below)! So cute! |
Christmas list
1. Coo Go (Fur Real Friends, Cookie)
I don’t know why she calls it this – it may be she’s already named a toy she doesn’t even have. (Say it out loud - doesn't it sound like "Cujo?" Just another reason why this will not be making it down the chimney) This is the fake dog that loudly acts like a dog except without the more annoying aspects of a real live dog like feeding it, taking it outside for poop breaks, vet bills, de-worming, etc.- actually this is sounding better than I first thought.
2. American Girl
This is, for those who don’t have daughters, sisters or wives, the expensive 1-foot high doll that not only has clothes, accessories, furniture, books and pets, but also huge stores in Chicago and New York City with hospitals, hair salons and, of course, shopping. Some of the dolls have their very own historical eras – no lie, people.
3. Girl Stripes
Okay, this one is weird. You see, my daughter was given a stuffed zebra when she was just a baby (by my mother, actually) and his name is Stripes. Apparently Stripes has a burning desire for a sister. Ironically, my daughter has also expressed this same wish only a few billion times. This may, in fact, be some sort of delusional last-ditch effort to secure at least some kind of sister, OR, it may be that she just wants a girl zebra, since I have repeatedly told her that Stripes is a boy, and it doesn’t matter if she calls him “Stripette,” - he’s still a boy.
4. Aqua Mat
This one is actually MY contribution to this list. Mainly this has to do with the fact that we call her “The Destructor” behind her back. She has had more crayons, markers, pencils, pens and other writing utensils taken away from her before her 4th birthday than most people use their entire lives. The ban is still in effect, and this is my way of compromising with her – “Here honey, you can draw, just do it on this nice mat instead of on yourself, the walls, the cat, the furniture, etc.”
5. Monster High Dolls
Here’s an original idea – take monsters like werewolves, vampires, zombies and other scary creatures and turn them into high schoolers and name the school “Monster High.” Make an animated television show out of how they deal with all their teen-aged angst as well as cope with their monster-ness and market the show and the dolls to young and pre-teen girls. Goody.
6. DVD Arthur Christmas
She’s confused….it’s actually coming out in theaters right now, but because she saw it on a commercial – it’s got to be on the list.
7. tv in room (television in her bedroom)
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha – not going to happen.
8. Hello kitty sheets
No idea where this came from, but read on…there seems to be a theme happening.
9. Hello Kitty Animal
Besides the fact that Hello Kitty actually is an animal, I’m not sure where she’s going with this.
10. Hamster
Ah yes, the girl who can’t take care of her dirty clothes wants a real, live animal to take care of. No way am I going through another pet funeral.
11. Kittin (kitten)
See 7 and 10 in that order.
12. Hats
This is common behavior, and goes a little like this – I’m going to be extremely vague about what I want so I can blame Mother whenever it doesn’t end up being exactly right. Therefore – see 7.
13. Mittins (mittens)
See 12.
14. Scarf
See 12 – What’s up with all the cold weather gear anyway? We live in TN, but she acts like there’s a blizzard coming.
15. Pillow pet Peewee Pillow Pets (Pee Wee Pillow Pets)
These are the stuffed animals that can also fold up into an adorable animal like pillow – no doubt you have heard the song (it’s playing in my head right now: “pillow - dum dum - pet!”) and seen the infomercial at least 12 dozen times. Now, this child already has a pillow pet. Granted, she does use it a lot, but I suspect the real reason behind this request is so she can use these pillow pets as props when she sets up her “schoolroom.”
16. Big pillow pet.
See 15. She’s consistent, I grant you that.
17. ?
I have absolutely no idea what she wrote on this line. Therefore, I am going use my special parent license to interpret it as “wooden castle blocks.”
18. Balls
What?!
19. Calinder to Santa
I can only guess that she means for me to make Santa a photo calendar with photos of her, of course. I doubt this is something the big guy will cherish like say, I would, so instead I’ll have her make a small card to go with Santa’s usual yummy chocolate chunk cookies and milk.
